Crop Duster Misplaces His Lunch.

(Tichigan, WI)  Local Tichigan resident, Baltch Turlington, spent most of this morning looking for his misplaced lunch.  "My wife packed me leftover chili from our date last night at George Webb's.  We ordered the party-pot so we had some to take home. And now, I just plain can't find it."  After several hours of searching for his misplaced lunch pail, which also included a small hand full of Bugles, two honey buns, a Capri Sun and an RC Cola, Turlington finally gave up.  "I ended up grabbing a Diet Fresca and a couple taquitos from the Citgo on the corner. Pretty good, but not as good as I expected."

After losing several hours of work attempting to find his missing lunch pail, Turlington had to play catch-up.  Neglecting to finish the safety checklist for his crop duster, Turlington took to the air in a frantic effort to make up for lost time.  As he crossed County Road-C and entered Farmer Randall Tate Goosen's 70 acre bean field, Turlington flipped open his chemical tank and switched on the sprayers.  "It took me about 5 minutes to realize my mistake" said Turlington.  "On my second pass I noticed the hose on my right wing was clogged.  And I'll be damned, if it wasn't my lunch clogging the gal darn thing. The chili was long gone, but I did manage to save that RC Cola."

This isn't the first time Turlington has neglected his safety checklist.  On June 4, 2009, Turlington attempted to take off without his propeller and crashed into a Long John Silvers / A&W franchise.  "This was way different than the propeller incident.  I set my lunch on the chemical tank, like always, when I clocked in this morning.  I went to help Turk Wellington check his dip-stick and I guess my lunch fell into the tank. First time, I swear."

Local farmers are outraged. The chili dusting that Turlington haphazardly sprayed on roughly 150 acres of rich Tichigan farmland, has exterminated most of the crops and has caused most of the livestock to produce obscene amounts of methane gas.  Turlington has decided he will start setting his lunch on the kitchen table when he clocks in.