16 wheeler full of chili crashes into school!

Just before 12:00 pm today, truck driver, Bran Lumpkin was headed southbound on the Mogwai Blacktop en route to Crunchbar State Prison, when disaster struck.

Lumpkin fell asleep at the wheel, and veered off the highway into a small town, crashing straight into a an elementary school wall. The 34,000 lb semi truck flipped over and sent some 200,000 gallons of chili into the school's swimming pool.

What happened next shocked even veteran school superintendent, Clife Prancer.

"The kids started jumping in left and right," said Prancer. "They didn't even care. They just jumped right in."

One by one the elementary school students fled from their classrooms to see what the commotion was in the swimming pool area. Students began leaping into the chlorinated stew, and pretty soon the pool was full.

One student was seen leaving the cafeteria with a party sized sub sandwich, which would later be used as a floating device.

There was only one fatality during the accident; custodian Red Napkin was taking his daily laps in the school's pool when the chili overflow occurred. The waves of ground beef, pinto beans, garlic, onions, and cheese became too much for the 64 year old.



Bran Lumpkin is facing criminal endangerment charges, as well as accidental manslaughter. We caught up with Lumpkin when he was released from the county jail, and asked him how he felt about accidentally killing a man using chili.


"If he liked chili, then whats the big deal?" is all Lumpkin would comment on, save for a few curse words and spitting on Chili Chat's photographer Neil Hamburger.

The school will be shut down for the rest of the week for restorations and clean up.

"We've decided to donate bins of the spilled chili to the local homeless shelter," added Prancer. When asked if the chlorine would make them very sick, Prancer would not comment.