Chili State was established in 2005, and got its sports program off the ground in early 2011. With a student body of just 86 students, sports fans and chili enthusiasts alike are left scratching their heads at why a college of Chili State's size and ability would be converted into a D1 program.
Chili's State's president, Gar Plimpt, had this to say; "We are pleased to join such a prestigious Division as the Big Ten. We are confident in our chili cooks, writers, and bloggers, but fear our athletic program may be a few steps behind. Most of our basketball players have never played before, but they seem to be quick learners. We are quite hopeful."
Chili State has a record of 1-5 this season, after chalking up a win at Cracker Tech Thursday night. C State was trounced last night by Ohio State, 113-30, and have another tough game playing at U of I's Assembly Hall tomorrow afternoon.
The six man roster is lead by senior point guard Kern Mantis, who is averaging almost 9 points a game. Mantis is Chili State's all time leading scorer, as well as team captain. The 5'8" guard from Kardboard, Tennessee remains optimistic about the team this year.
"Don't count Chili State out. Our sights are set on March
Madness. We want to get to the tournament. We're still learning the basics, so what? We've only got 6 players, so what? I've been drinking lots of sprite and listening to rap music. I'm feeling good ," said Mantis.
Sports analysts across the board have already written off Chili State and marked them as a non threat to the Big Ten.
"Kern Mantis wouldn't even make the team on any other team on the Big Ten. We wouldn't even trust him with washing our team jersey's. I heard he drinks before games too." -Anonymous
Chili State looks to surprise some people this year. Could they be this year's Cinderella story?
Gar Plimpt. Wow.
ReplyDeleteI really need to order a CSU pennant to hang in my den.
ReplyDeleteOr a new CSU non hooded sweatshirt
ReplyDeleteCSU mock turtleneck.
ReplyDeleteCSU's signature mock, mock turtleneck. (Now with 100% more mock).
ReplyDelete