Chili Chat investigates: New Chili highlighters wreak havoc on book buy-back prices.

Chili Chat investigates:

New Chili highlighters wreak havoc on book buy-back prices.

Originally started as a way for students to combine snacking with note-taking in one convenient package, the Chili Highlighter was an instant success.

But it only took one semester to squash all the hopes and dreams of Chili Co., (a subsidiary of Chili Corp Int.).  Students who tried to return books to their local campus bookstore were treated to a harsh dose of reality.  What many thought were helpful highlights for next semester’s students, turned out to be nothing but a mess of sloppy, greasy pages.  A  vast majority of bookstores turned these books away, leaving many students walking home with clichéd inside out pockets and not so much as a quarter to catch the bus. 

I was once a poor college student and know that many, many hard working students look forward to selling their books back in order to have enough money to buy red solo cups, ping pong balls, Cool Ranch Doritos and cheap ditch weed.  This incident has stifled the economy on most campuses around the country.

Tad Rodenhust, owner of Tad’s Teeny Mart, on the corner of Bliffert and Tartabull , near the student union at Pensachussets Tech, told Chili Chat that sales have plummeted since this semester ended. “These students are destitute.  You should have seen how bright and cheerful this place was on the first day of the semester.  I must have sold a package of Chili Highlighters to every Tom, Dick and Harry on campus.  This sickens me.  It’s just chili for Christ-sake!” Said Rodenhurst.

We decided to get in touch with Chive Goocus, President of the Kappa Kappa Kappa Sigma Tau Kappa Omega chapter at Crested Peünt State University.  Goocus is at the forefront of a class action lawsuit against the creators of the innovative Chili Highlighter.

“Millions of students purchased these highlighters because we were hungry and wanted to do well in school.  And this is what we get?!”

A visibly distraught Goocus also added, “So the pages of history are stained with chili?  Chili has done some great things for this country and according to the bookstore, we should just give chili a big middle finger.  I’ll tell you where the bookstore can stuff their chili…” 

It remains to be seen what further repercussions Chili Co. will receive as a result of this lawsuit,  or if the local economies on thousands of campuses across this nation will bounce back.  This situation has surely put another chili smear in the pages of history.

The only way to forge ahead is to learn from history.  Even if that history is covered with a  beef and beans.

This has been a Chili Chat Investigates exclusive.  I’m Chip Crinkle, signing off!

Cheers,